At the end of the rainbow
August 03, 2006
A while ago I noticed a trend here, which I think is probably true anyway for many people who keep a public diary/blog: when I am at my lowest or even just having a marginally bad week I do not post here as often. If there are long periods of silence here, it is either and indication that 1)things are not going so well, or 2) things are just really busy.
Sadly, I�d say that this week the former has been the case. The week started off with Di leaving the country for life on the opposite end of the continent (think North-South, not East-West), which is something I didn�t want to talk about or think about, but about which I will just say that as sad as I am for me, I�m so happy for her and�at the risk of sounding patronizing�I am also really proud of her in that silly, �My friend is so awesome!� way.
From there the things about which I do not wish to think or write have just flowed in , in a steadily depressing order. It�s alright. It�s not that bad. There is just the great potential that it might get worse. No need for sympathy or concern, just...if y�all could cross some fingers for me that would be great.
I recently noticed something I do which is kind of funny and which can come off as a little bit passive-aggressive, but really isn�t meant to be. Sometimes I will say something like, �Man, I must be a totally messed up person because I do so-and-so or such-and-such,� when what I really mean is, �Man, YOU are totally or just a little bit messed up because you do so-and-so or such-and-such.� Sometimes, I alternate and say something like, �Man, that person is totally screwed up because they did...� when what that person has done is pretty much the same thing as something the person I am speaking to has done.
Wow, actually. That�s not a LITTLE bit passive-aggressive. It�s totally passive-aggressive. Know, though, that if I have ever done this to you, it comes from a place of love and concern for you. Also, a place that does not like to partake in direct confrontation and/or criticism.
Last night, I chatted briefly with the guy mentioned here . PG has dubbed him �Ogl� as he could not keep track of his real German name, and so first referred to him generically as �Olaf� then �G�nter� and finally �Lederhosen� for good measure. Thus, the nickname Ogl (conveniently close to ogle which, of course, is one of the things I like to do to Ogl) was born. So, Ogl and I were discussing ways to finance my studies in Belfast, and he suggested that I look into prostitution. And followed that with, �How�s that for a little European humor?� I informed him that a dear old friend has already offered to prostitute himself in order to pay my way in Belfast, under the condition that I marry him and take him with me. Ogl said that said friend must be very fond of me, as he himself would not like to be a prostitute. (You don�t say?) Then, apparently after some thought on the matter, he said he would actually prefer to be a prostitute than to go to one, because going to a prostitute suggests that he �cannot take care of [his] own needs.�
*fan fan fan*
Needless to say it was all I could do to keep myself from responding in typical Newgy fashion and telling him that I�d love to take care of any needs he might have.
*wink*