Peek-a-boo
June 06, 2006
Jing and BK�s totally awesome mother�let�s call her MamaK�once told me that changing your own speech patterns to suit those of the people around you is an indication of a highly developed sense of empathy�one of a few things that we shared, along with a name, and a love of her sons. The topic came up because I was telling her how after a couple of hours back in the place where I grew up in Jersey-ish I would find myself sliding into the Jersey accent I had as a kid. I couldn�t understand why I did that, especially since I�m not a big fan of the Jerz, but there it was.
Mr. Inkwell noticed that when I spoke to my parents, or anyone from the Arab world, on the phone I would immediately start pronouncing my t�s and elongating words at the ends of sentences.
It�s a nice little theory, this idea that I am so tuned into other people and want so much to make them feel comfortable that I adopt their speech patterns. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I take it too far. I wouldn�t want to seem fake or patronizing. I truly do not do it consciously, and only later (if at all) pick up on what I�ve done.
Not so this morning, though, when I went to get a coffee before coming in to work. Egyptians have a problem with pronouncing their p�s (usually comes out �b�) and their th�s (usually comes out as a �s� or a �z� sound). So I ordered my �American� coffee (i.e., brewed) in Arabic, and then the guy behind the counter asked me, in English, �Wiz milk?� To which I replied, �Yes, wiz a little milk.� And then it was all I could do to keep from giggling at my stupid self. If anyone I knew had been standing nearby, they would have either thought I was making fun of the guy, or I was�I don�t know, being a complete idiot. It definitely would not have passed unnoticed though.
Monde has invited me to hang out with her and a friend who has recently arrived at the Greek Club tonight. The Greek Club is a favorite summer hangout, though Monde and I have never hung out there socially. In fact, we almost never hang out socially, which is a shame since she is a really entertaining, intelligent person, and does not in any way act like my �boss�. Anyway, other than the fact that I have other plans tonight at exactly the time that they will be at the Greek Club, I am also hesitant to go because the main reason I want to go is because Hot British Guy will be there. And years ago I adopted a principle that I will not go out of my way to spend time with a guy with whom I am not already in a committee relationship or friends with. Sometimes I take it to the extreme, and actually refrain from going somewhere if I know that an object of interest will be there even if I was going to go to that place/event anyway, just because I worry that my subconscious is actually leading me to do things against one of my very few but well-established principles.
I do not know why I am so dumb sometimes.