Praise de lawd!/ Oh please God help me!
December 03, 2004
WOOO!
So, this week has been all stress, stress, stress. After very little sleep I finished that Israeli lit comp, but I still have not heard back from the professor I submitted it to. As the days pass I begin to think "Oh my God, I failed. FAILED!" I heard back about the other comp within three days. It's almost been five days now. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM.
To further add to the DOOMiness. I received an email from my master�s advisor on Tuesday evening asking the ever-so-sweet question, "When were you planning to graduate again?" To which I frantically/angrily replied, "[You senile old bastard] Uh, this semester?[Why the hell else have I been taking exams and writing papers?!]�
To which he replied, "[You notorious slacker] You are not REGISTERED TO GRADUATE THIS SEMESTER and anyway I am traveling on December 13th so I wouldn't have time to read and grade your papers anyway" DOOOOOM. (Note: Things in brackets were obviously not said, but implied. Though I love my advisor, I really do. As a professor though. As an advisor, we don�t seem to see eye-to-eye.)
Well, I frantically went searching through my inbox for the email I had received from the department�s Administrative Assistant confirming that I was registered for December graduation. Just as I found it and went to send it to my advisor I found an email from him saying, �Whoops! Cancel that last email. We�ve found your registration, it�s just that we changed the system. Now, about those papers. I will need them by Saturday at the very latest if I am to grade them before I leave.� Well, I was just about to send him one anyway, but I hadn�t so much started the other one. Listen people. Yeah, that might explain why I�m so stressed. Why I�ve lost 3 pounds in the past four days. DOOM.
But anyway, I sent him the first paper the next day, and PRAISE DE LAWD I just heard back, and not only did I pass it, I kicked it�s ASS! He said it was EXCELLENT! So take that Lukacs, Genette, Bakhtin, Scholes & Kellogg and all of you other old, white men who for weeks fucked with my head and my self-esteem because I felt like I just didn�t get you. Take that. I GOT YOU. And I made you my bitch. And thank you Ms. Al-Shaykh for justifying my obsession with your novel, and my need to make loving it my life�s work. Thank you. �Excellent.� It is sad that I will probably live on that one word for the next week.
However, back to DOOM�I. Have. Not. Yet. Started. The. Second. Thirty-page. Paper. DOOM. I have to have it in by tomorrow. DOOM. Oh, the coffee I have been drinking nonstop on a fairly empty stomach just rumbled around. I think I can actually feel the ulcer forming.
I am starting the paper as soon as I finish this entry. I have done the research I need, but this is going to be a total flying by the seat of my pants experience. God, I hope I don�t fuck up big time. I hope that the excellence of the first paper off-sets the inevitable crappiness of this one. I hope that my professor doesn�t even read it actually. I was considering putting life 5 pages of Dadaist nonsense in the middle just to see if he catches on. Hmm. No no. I can do this. As Jing and BK would say while scrunching up their faces and flexing their essentially nonexistent biceps, I�m a champ.
And when I am done I will begin to fully acknowledge what an undeserving brat I am.
Here I go now.
**Update: Woo! Passed the Israeli lit comp! Do I really have to do this paper? Do I??