California Dreamin'
April 27, 2004
First things first - I got the results for my TOEFL, and I did fine (of course). I'm actually a little disappointed at the fact that I didn't get a perfect score, which is actually some weird number like 677. In any case, I figured it out and my score indicates that I got like 5.5 wrong or something. But it was sweet...when i called the lady to get my score and gave her my name, there was a little pause and I could hear her smiling over the phone. Then she was all "Oh, well you did really well. Congratulations. Ms. Farida was very happy with your scores and she will be getting in touch with you very soon." So, despite the fact that I felt dumb for not acing the exam, it was nice to have apparently impressed a few people.
This country, I tell ya, it's lowered the bar for expectations.
Anyway, on to the main thing I wanted to write about, and the topic that has been occupying my mind lately - California. California has become my new Ireland. And for those of you don't know, who aren't in fact already SICK of hearing about it, Ireland has been an obsession of mine for about 10 years now. I've never been, but it's always been this dream on the horizon of my future. Much like Jews used to say on Roshashanna, "Next year in Jerusalem" I often say "Someday in Ireland." And someday in Ireland I will have a sheep farm, and a great, old wooden house on a cliff, overlooking the Atlantic. But until then, until I can afford that, California seems like a more viable dream. My interest in California I think began a little over three years ago when I started to meet a few of what we East Coast Arabs, like to call - can you guess? - West Coast Arabs. Around that time, I met a nice gal named Yasmine who was different from most other Arab-Americans I had met up until that point - at least on the East Coast - in that she considered herself a fairly religious Muslim, but was easily able to reconcile that with being a beach-going, California girl. I found this combo interesting, if not sort of weird and contradictory, but I was soon to find out that this ability to exist easily within many identities and frameworks is something that seems to come easily to WCAs and not as easily to us ECAs. In trying to understand the reason behind it all, I realized a few things about the West Coast in general, but California more specifically. What I figured out is this - California weather and terrain is probably more similar to the Middle East than any other state in the US. The stereotyped laid-back Cali attitude also sort of fits with the laid-back ways of the Ay-rabs at home. I think I just eventually figured that the WCAs were able to be so at ease with themselves because they essentially grew up and lived in a place that ultimately wasn't as far from home as the dark and dreary East.
So, coming to understand all this sort of jump-started my desire to really go to California and live there for a while - specifically in San Francisco, but I'll explain that a bit more later. Since having sort of come to this conclusion in the back of my mind, I eventually started to notice "things" about California - like I started to pay more attention to people from there and their attitudes. I began to take notice more of how California looked and was portrayed in movies or on television, which has been easy considering my newfound obsession with the HBO show, Six Feet Under, set in and around L.A. Ultimately, I started to realize that I have always had the potential to love California - taking into account my long-term love for John Steinbeck, Hollywood, the ocean, the sun, and even the kind of music I like (Counting Crows? Red Hot Chili Peppers? Tom Petty even. They all come from or obsessively write songs about California). Then, to add to my already sort of growing desire, I met and for a while fell in love with a guy who dreamed of going there too, albeit for very different reasons, and California became a sort of shared dream of ours.
Anyway, there are so many little reasons that all add up to me wanting to spend some time there, real soon. And unlike with my Ireland dream, I've actually been to California a few times, though granted the last time was almost 10 years ago. Let's just say though that I have an idea of what it's like. I know that I definitely want to live in San Francisco, because all the best cities have a little hill to them (shout outs! to Amman, Beirut, greater Cairo, and, er...Pittsburgh), and because in middle school my then best friend and I decided - probably after listening to the Forrest Gump soundtrack one too many times - that someday we would go to San Francisco with flowers in our hair.
And someday soon I hope I will.