Back to art therapy
December 29, 2005
If things had worked out, if Cherry hadn�t decided to leave and go to Canada to pursue a PhD, I would be in Kerala right now celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends to, by all accounts, one of the sweetest boys. Alas, two days after I�d reserved my ten-day trip to India, Cherry dropped the bomb that she would be leaving us. I am not bitter, or upset, just�not going. Ah well, it would�ve been a fun experience. Hopefully, (PRETTY PLEASE?) I�ll be able to recreate it sometime in February or March.
I�ve got a lot of things in my head, on my plate, but again just don�t feel like talking about it.
This past Monday, Di finally managed to come to art therapy with me (yes, I still go, though not as regularly as I used to at first). She�s been trying to come for a while now, but had some scheduling conflicts. Eyeore also called me up saying he was bored, so I told him to come along. He seemed a bit skeptical at first, but I think both he and Di enjoyed it. Dr. M. basically, completely �mis-analyzed� Di�s personality through her paintings, but she did say afterwards, �It was really soothing/relaxing.� I agree. It�s funny, not matter the psychological aspect of it. A lot of times I go to art therapy not really in the mood to �create�, but then once I get started I don�t want to stop. This last time I noticed that my face got really hot and my cheeks flushed, and I realized that that happens to me a lot at art therapy, regardless of surrounding temperatures. I wonder if my body becomes subconsciously excited and energized? I�ll have to try and keep track of this phenomenon.
Anyway, I don�t know if I�m allowed to post pictures of Di and Eyeore�s paintings (which I though turned out pretty cool, even though both said they haven�t painted in years), but I haven�t posted pictures of any of my stuff since I came back from Ireland, so I�ll do that.
In approximately chronological order �
This was my first painting after I got back from Ireland. I wasn�t feeling aggressive or sad or anything like that when I painted it, it just kind of came out, and I was amused by it. However, everyone else art therapy that day took a step AWAY from me, thinking that I was painting out some wicked fantasy. Dr. M. said that I�ve been feeling guilty lately about two ex-loves in my life. In fact he said, �These are your victims. Victims of your love.� Hahaha. I guess, at the time, he was kind of right though.
I felt that these shapes and colors were soothing. Dr. M. said that I was thinking a lot about changing careers or jobs or making some other big change in my life. Well, he was actually right about that too at the time.
Dr. M was really impressed with this one, so much in fact that he asked me to give him a week to think about it. In the end, he didn�t have anything interesting to say, just that he thought it was quite good. *shrug*
So, with this one I just wanted to paint red. Then I decided to paint purple over the red, and somehow that turned into a hand. Anyway, the black door in the background on the left? I painted that as an afterthought. It�s a little joke to myself, because I saw the hand grabbing the �world�, and I thought, �We want the world and we want it now.� Yeah, I have a pretty dorky sense of humor.
This was another accidental painting. I just wanted to paint the paper all black, and then I let my brush go and it ended up being this kinda creepy looking thing. Dr. M said that it represents an internal struggle I�m having. There is something that I just don�t want to see, even though it�s right before my eyes. He said there are also issues buried in the �caverns� behind my head.Ok. Personally, I think I just had Superman on the brain.
Dr. M said that the two triangles on top of one another represent me and the current state of imbalance I�m in. Dr. M is also convinced that there is a motif of �home� and wanting to leave it in my paintings. He says, I keep painting home because I�m too attached to it, but I also want to leave. So this painting, I guess, is meant to represent my indecision on the matter.
These are just two little drawings I did a couple of weeks ago when I wasn�t feeling very art therapy, but went anyway because PG was going. Notice how the drawing on the left is all self-referential and shit?
Well, I hope you all enjoyed this art therapy update. I have a couple more pictures actually, but I�ll save those for a later date.
* Sorry about the messed up sizing. Am trying to fix that.