Ahem...a disclaimer of sorts
November 07, 2004
Just so everybody is clear...I'm gonna say this one more time--I consider this here space an online DIARY. It is where I come to express feelings, record thoughts, and generally vent. It is not meant to educate, inform, or influence although if that is a by-product then that is a happy, albeit unexpected, coincidence. (People, what could you possibly learn from me!?) (Ok, just kidding, I am FASCINATING and INFORMATIVE).
Garr, moving on.
There is a reason I did not start this thing up on blogger, or blogmosis, or any of those "blog" sites, and why I am hesitant to move to typepad, a site I now pay a montly fee for but rarely use. I chose Diaryland because I wanted to have a place that was personal and confessional--the fact that I chose to do this in a public forum speaks to my reverse-voyeuristic tendencies. Those other sites had too much of a feeling of a podium where everything I said had to be serious, or have a point. I know that is not at all the case, but that is how I felt. In any case, I didn't start this with the intention of addressing politics or society, culture or history in an organized, or even intelligent manner. Those topics appear in this diary inasmuch as they are a part of who I am, nothing more.
Having said that, I recognize that I have really let loose with my emotions here over the past few days. I have tried from the beginning to limit the amount of self-censoring I do. That is why I have been pretty insistent on not revealing too many personal details (like my full name or the real names of people mentioned in here), so that I could write freely without worrying too much that someone I didn't want finding this diary would find it, and make me feel like I have to start self-censoring or cut the whole enterprise off entirely. In general, I tend to check my emotions in favor of an attempt at rationality and even-handedness--not just here, but in my nonvirtual life as well. The fun part of starting this diary was that I was going to try to *not* do that as much as possible. If I felt low, I would write low. If I felt angry, I would write angry. But I recognize that that has not always been the case...until a few days ago.
If my post-election "outbursts" have offended anybody, or made anyone roll their eyes that's fine. I don't apologize. I just hope that everyone recognizes the spirit in which they were written. They are not meant to be back-handed comments against anyone, especially not those near and dear to me, whom I love and will continue to love despite my better judgement. :-p They are merely meant to be expressions of how I have been feeling lately, laying aside for once that voice in my head that always tells me to check pure emotion for at least a modicum of rationality, or to remember always to see the other sides of every issue.
Remember, this diary is finally about me, not vous.