Nothing can stop us now, cause we are all made of stars
June 08, 2004
I've had a lot on my mind lately. Not a lot more than usual actually, but it all just seems to weigh more. I've been in a deeply pensive mood the past few days.
I think it started with my brother's high school graduation Friday. What a morning - with the ceremony being held at the foot of the Sphinx, and behind the three Pyramids of Giza - and what a journey for my brother from freshman year to finish. It's been apretty rough road for him (and my parents, I guess), but he's come out on top and I'm really quite proud of him. In July he's headed to Washington DC for the Global Young Leaders Conference for which he was nominated by one of his classmates. He's going to the school he really wanted to go to, he'll be doing a program he seems really into, and hey, in his last year of high school he managed to earn the highest GPA he's ever had (I think) despite a 3 week long severe illness, and a few (not-so) minor tragedies, and of course a crippling case of senioritis. It's all pretty cool...
But back to his graduation. The event and the whole day after that just really got me to thinking again about high school and my time there. I definitely didn't live it up as much as I wish I had, but if there's any time I'd want to go back to that would be it. In fact, I think if I could I'd just keep going back in time to high school, except each time would be in a different place. What a strange and awesome time it all is with all the insecurity and all the hope, and all the believing that you are on the verge of the next great thing.
At the graduation they honored a classmate, a girl who, by all accounts, was one of the "good ones". She was killed earlier in the year when she was hit by a bus. I've never met her, but I couldn't stop the tears from coming when her father and brother got up on stage to accept an honrary diploma on her behalf. In fact, whenever I think about her I become idescribably sad, and I've been thinking a lot about my brother and his classmates, and all that they have been through this year, and that they're yet to go through.
I'm so excited for them...I'm so excited for all the strange things that they are going to go through, and I'm curious to see how they will all turn out...
But all this thinking on the youngins has definitely got me thinking about my upcoming birthday. I was out with a group of friends the other night, and I was telling them that last year, on my 23rd birthday, in order to cheer myself up I made a pact that I would have accomplished a certain list of goals by the time I was 25. For some reason to me it feels like my life will be over at the age of 25, and I said as much to the group. I've always had this sort of complex where I believe life only really happens when young. One girl pointed out to me that she thinks life only STARTS after 25, and Meeni who was also there, cheered me up considerably by sharing her mom's philosophy that after 30 nothing is considered wrong anymore.(Have I ever mentioned how much I love Meeni's mom? No? Well, I love that woman).
Well, all the banter did kind of cheer me up, and the way life is going now I can't complain. I've got a job that I like with cool people. (Oh, I decided to turn down the school job and am now working only for AAD. Though I'm only part-time until the end of July and then I start full-time in August). So anyway, I have a job I like. I'm in good health and good-ish shape, the weather is gorgeous adn that makes me happy, and the relationships in my life, lately, have been really solid and happy. And I've actually only got one or two more things left on my list of things to accomplish by the time I'm 25, so I'm making good time. And I'm feeling a little bit like a recent high school grad. I'm feeling a little bit in limbo because things are so sort of - sorted out - that there's not much work for me to do, but I'm also feeling excited as if I'm on the brink of something really big. (I hope!)
And I'm ready to start going out and making an effort to meet new people, and to carve out some sort of life for myself here. So...I'm crossing my fingers for myself, and for all my friends out there who are on the brink of any new adventures, or working hard on some old ones.
And I'm wishing a great, big, beautiful future for the Class of 2004.