Somebody get me my inhaler
October 13, 2004
�Yesterday, Dan Harel, head of Southern Command decided to suspend the commander of the assisting squadron to the Gavati Brigade from duty who is accused by what is known as "Ascertain of murder" and gun fired the head of a 13-years-old Palestinian girl in Rafah.�
I haven�t ranted about Reim, our 9-3 translator for a while, so now I will. How am I supposed to make any sense of that? But I do. I do have to. And I did. Just thought I would share that.
When I came into work this morning, our usual receptionist was out sick, and the senior administrative assistant was filling in for him. She�s really pretty cool. Very young-seeming and vibrant, and weighs about 40 Kilos even though she just had a kid. Though that doesn�t really add to her coolness.
Anyway, after I�d signed in and was talking to her for a bit asking how she was, she asked me if I had any friends here.
What?
So I told her, yes I do, I have a few good friends, and two really close ones here, and I asked her why she�d asked that, and she said, �Because you seem really�calm. People like you usually keep to themselves and therefore don�t have many friends.�
O w ow kay. Did she just basically call me a sociopath? Good thing my new template is called what it is then. Me and Hannibal Lector? We�re LIKE THIS.
Actually? Hannibal is psychopath not a sociopath, isn�t he? Well�one thing leads to another, doesn�t it?
*****
Ok, I just checked my email, and now I�m breaking out in a cold sweat. THERE IS A BOMB IN MY INBOX OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MY ARABIC LITERATURE M.A. COMPREHENSIVE.
My heart is beating a mile a minute, and there is a ringing in my ears. This can�t be right. I was going to eventually segue into talking about how I�ve been freaking out about my comps for the past week the questions for which were supposed to arrive in my inbox TOMORROW MORNING OR LATE THIS EVENING. Now I�m confused. My professor didn�t give any instructions. He just said �Here it is!� And there it was. A 33 kb attachment waiting to explode. I haven�t opened it yet, because I want to know how long I have. I�m still at work, and I�m not going to go home for another three hours, and even then I was thinking I would be starting work on this tomorrow. I�m supposed to get three days to answer three questions which are supposed to embody everything I have ever learned about modern Arabic literature.
Questions like �What is the Arabic novel?�
If you were going to answer that question with, �a novel written in Arabic.� You would be wrong. So SO wrong.
And other questions like, �Do you think the Quran is written in Saja� (rhyming prose)? If so, discuss.�
Or something.
OH MY GOD I�M GOING TO BE THE FIRST M.A. STUDENT IN THE HISTORY OF PENN�S ASIAN AND MIDDLE EASTERN STUDIES DEPARTMENT TO FAIL HER COMPREHENSIVES.
FAIL. FAIL, I TELL YOU!
I feel like I could be heading for a rant/nervous breakdown of TinaSparklean proportions.
Heh. She had really fantastic rants/nervous breakdowns.
OH MY GOD.
Ok, I just checked my inbox, and my professor emailed me back in response to my frantic �WHEN DO YOU WANT THIS BACK?�
And he said I have until Monday, because he actually won�t be checking it till then.
BUT DHUDE. I WORK ON SUNDAY. YOU CAN�T GIVE ME THIS EXTRA DAY TO WORK ON IT WHEN I WON�T BE ABLE TO WORK ON IT OH MY GOD I�M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. WHY CAN�T YOU BE MERCIFUL? JUST CUT IT OFF!!! CUT IT OFF! THE PAIN! I AM A REALLY BAD EXAM-TAKER AND THE MORE TIME YOU GIVE ME THE MORE TIME I WILL HAVE TO FUCK IT ALL UP. AND RAMADAN STARTS ON FRIDAY AND I REALLY NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I�M TALKING ABOUT. ABOUT WHAT I�M TALKING?
Ok.
*deep breath*
Somebody get me a stiff drink and an inhaler please.